


Rewritten Baby It's Cold Outside

by kattahj



Category: Baby It's Cold Outside - Frank Loesser (Song)
Genre: Filk, Gen, Mother-Son Relationship, Poetry, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 08:08:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16850329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kattahj/pseuds/kattahj
Summary: Since "Baby It's Cold Outside" is super creepy in its current cultural context, it made me wonder if there was any way to rewrite it into a more acceptable version. Under which circumstances would it be okay for one person to want to leave, and another person to use all kinds of convincing and trickery to make them stay? Here's what I came up with. It does depend on the rather unlikely scenario that the child wants to go out in the storm and the mother wants him to stay in and play video games, but hey, at least unlikely isn't creepy. :-)





	Rewritten Baby It's Cold Outside

I don't wanna stay (But, baby, it's cold outside)  
I wanna go play (But, baby, it's cold outside)  
An evening in (What a wild storm it's been)  
is not very nice (And all the roads are full of ice)  
Mom, why do you always worry? (Sweetie-pie, what's your hurry?)  
I can't go skating here on the floor (Listen to the fireplace roar)  
So really I'd better scurry (Sweetie-pie, please don't hurry)  
But maybe just a cocoa cup more (Play some video games while I pour)  
You're really so rude (Baby, it's bad out there)  
Say, what is this food? (No games to be had out there)  
I wish I knew how (The sky's getting darker now)  
To make you see (I'll sit right here with my cup of tea)  
You always say "No, no, no, sir" (Move the warm blankets closer)  
Would it even help if I cried? (There's a lot to do here inside)  
I wanna go play  
(Oh, baby, don't go out)  
Baby, it's cold outside

I simply must go (But, baby, it's cold outside)  
You always say no (But, baby, it's cold outside)  
This dinner has been (How lucky that you stayed in)  
So nice and warm (Look out the window at the storm)  
You're making me quite suspicious (This popcorn sure looks delicious)  
My buddies will be there at the door (Better with some butter, I'm sure)  
Their taunting will be so vicious (Popcorn is so delicious)  
But maybe just some video games more (Never such a blizzard before)  
Don't wanna stay home (But, baby, you'd freeze out there)  
Say, lend me a coat (It's up to your knees out there)  
You've really been grand (We'll play your favorite band)  
But don't you see? (We'll decorate the Christmas tree)  
The whole class will talk tomorrow (Think of my lifelong sorrow)  
It will be a blow to my pride (If you got pneumonia and died)  
I guess I can stay  
(Yes, baby, don't go out)  
Baby, it's cold  
Baby, it's cold outside


End file.
